PFLAG Capital Region New York Chapter: Albany/Schenectady/Troy

This blog is dedicated to Eugenia. PURPOSE-Share information--stories- poems-anything to help LGBT's & their Parents,Families& Friends in their journey toward sunrise. MEMBERSHIP-PFLAG CRNY is for Albany,Schenectady,Troy NY residents-BUT this BLOG is open to gays & straights REGARDLESS OF STATE/COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE. Interested in membershhip? POST A COMMENT CHAPTER GOALS: Provide informaton & support to & advocate for the LGBT's & their parents, families & friends-straight & gay.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Eugenia - my grandmother's name, the namesake of this Blog
Pronunciation: (yOO-jē'nē-u, -jēn'yu),
[key] —n. a female given name: from a Greek word meaning “nobility.” Also,Eu•ge•niePronunciation: (yOO-jē'nē). [key]
Random House Unabridged Dictionary, Copyright © 1997, by Random House, Inc., on Infoplease.

Patricia -
The boy's and girl's name Patricia is pronounced pa-TRISH-ah. It is of Latin origin, and its meaning is "noble; patrician." Feminine form of Patrick. The Romans once were divided socially and politically into two major classes, the plebeians and the patricians. To be patrician meant one was highly ranked, an aristocrat. The name became popular when it was used for one of Queen Victoria's granddaughters. It is still popular nowadays in Spain. Singers Patti LaBelle, Patsy Cline, Pat Benatar; choreographer Trisha Brown; actresses Patty Duke, Patricia Neal, ; First Lady Pat Nixon; Congresswoman Pat Schroeder.
There are 21 variant forms for Patricia:
Pat, Patreece, Patreice, Patrica, Patrice, Patricka, Patrina, Patrisha, Patrisse, Patrizia, Patryce, Patsy, Patte, Pattee, Pattey, Patti, Pattie, Patty, Tricia, Trish and Trisha.

Did you ever think about why you were given your name?
Have you ever felt a closeness to or a dislike for your name? There are those who believe that our names signify our 'selves' , our destiny, what we will become. Others claim that changing their name helped to change their lives!
Take a minute to look up the meaning of your name at one of these websites: and

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Quote of the Day

"Before you can break out of prison, you must first realize you're locked up." ~Author Unknown

Does this quote relate to your own life situation(s)?

Are you out of the closet? Do you need help with coming out to a loved one?
Post a comment - I can help.

Have you ever felt like a prisoner in your own home? How about in your own body? If so, why, how?

Do you feel imprisoned by your role in life - mother, father, student, daughter, son...? What could release you?

Have you "broken out" of a self imposed prison or "broken free" from a controlling situation, relationship, marriage, career.....? How? Do you need help doing so? Post a comment - I can help.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

"I AM" a memoir by Patricia P

Patricia Ann
lovingly (prophetically?) nicknamed Patsy
The "you look exactly like your mother" only child of Sam & Madge.
Obedient daughter, good Catholic straight A student high school graduate no college needed to get a secretarial job buy a car go on dates find a husband.
i Am
Tony's wife, the electrician's wife, la mugliere di Antonio (verbally Abused)
chief cook and bottle washer, courtesan (slut),
household bookkeeper & payer of bills (disinterested)
gift buyer/giver (disinterested)
home decorator (tasteless)
i am
Anthony and Tina's mother
giving & getting love,
nurturing, changing diapers, potty training, kissing boo-boos
giving & getting love,
chasing bogey men, reading fairytales, playing games
giving & getting love,
drying tears, bandaging wounds
emotionally and mentally Abused
giving & getting love,
rewarding, punishing, comforting, healing (Ice Queen),
giving & getting love,
baking cupcakes, cheering, going on school trips (uncaring),
giving & getting love,
helping with homework, college applications, giving advice (dumb),
giving & getting love,
sparing the time, lending an ear, lending the car, (selfish)
Doing The Best I Can ... a bad mother.
Physically Abused
i am
nobody, transparent, an empty vessel, a shell
non-existent, neither seen, heard nor felt
A Patsy
mindless marionette, manipulated, dangled, used and abused ALL USED UP.
LOST, in a pitch-black never-ending tunnel, blind, confused, terrified, weak, hopeless.
i Am
A Survivor
Running toward the light, fleeing, escaping
missed, misunderstood, breathing, hopeful, determined - FREE!
i Am
struggling & juggling
mother, domestic engineer, bookkeeper, bill payer
school aide, candy store clerk, college student
studying, writing papers, taking exams
I Am
A Success
New job Principal's secretary, new status, some college
New look, new friends, admiring looks from
young lover, great sex, feel young, feel loved, I'm a fool, he's a con
assessed my needs, won my trust, I fell victim to a gambler
Patsy's back, "use and abuse me", stole my money, stole my pride.
i am
crying, hurting, disillusioned, crying, confused, frustrated, crying, guilty, angry, crying
Scattered about like Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz? Can't Focus! Where's Dorothy?
Broken into a million pieces like Humpty Dumpty! Where's the King's men?
ican'tdoitanymore i need help.......
i Am
in Analysis
for the missing piece, the key to my sanity and happiness
looking inward, digging deep, agonizing
Seeing with my blind eyes
it was always right there in plain sight
unobstructed from view
The Elusive Piece, the All Important Key that unlocks the internalized negative emotions
of shame, insecurity, guilt, unworthiness, anger, blame
preventing me from loving myself and being loved
Self Forgiveness

Patricia Ann
Love Myself - Love Others
To Be Loved - To Be Happy
Dedication 12/22/02

In loving memory of my grandmother, Eugenia . "Grandma, I broke the cycle".